"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11-12
Welcome Back! This is the second study of Proverbs 31 so if you missed the first study on verse 10 please be sure and check it out!
Although I have studied this common passage in scripture before I really wanted to dig a little deeper into every word! Verses 11-12 have been easy ones for me to skip in the past because I am not married! With that being said, I am still very excited to share some of the things that scripture has taught me with this study! I encourage you to not be turned away by my lack of experience, there are so many well experienced woman in the bible, and there is plenty to learn from them!
The Heart of her husband doth safely trust in her...
"Trust" means sooooo many things here; secure, confident, feel safe!
Don't these words sound like something we as women long for!? Well Ladies, Jesus him self said, "as you wish that others would do to you, DO SO TO THEM!" Luke 6:31.
So it's not surprising that our Lord, who knows our needs and desires, would instruct us to provide our husbands with the very things that we yearn for!
So that he shall have no need of spoil...
God's word goes on to tell us that when we are trustworthy, our husband will "have no lack of gain" (NKJV) or "lack nothing of value" (NIV) Wouldn't the best way to keep someone happy and "at home" be to provide them with their needs!? Now of course as humans men still have a free will and the will still be held accountable for their actions. This is also a great time to point out that the things The Lord considers "of value" and what the world looks at as valuables differ greatly! Marriage was designed for 2 believers who put all their trust and worth in Jesus and the things of heaven.
Which brings me to another point...
The Word tells us that if an unsaved spouse wishes to depart, then let them do so, BUT, if they are willing to stay, to stay with them and let your behavior win them over! See 1 Peter 3:1-2 & 1 Cor 7:12-15
She will do him good and not evil...
The bible says "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Rom 3:23, so inevitably we will let the people in our lives down, including our husbands. However, we should NEVER intentionally bring them harm, emotionally, physically, or spiritually!
Biblically there are a few examples of "evil doing wives"...
In 1 King 21 we read of perhaps one of the worst; Jezebel! I'll let you read it on your own but take note of what her evil actions are and what the the consequences are for her actions, both for her and her husband!
In Job 2:9-10, Job's wife lets her faithlessness run from her mouth as blasphemy instead of taking it to God in prayer, dishonoring both God and her husband. We also see in verse 10 that by rebuking her, Job still does not sin; I'm afraid there is a lesson to be learned in this as well. Subjection may include allowing our husbands to point out when our faith is wavering AND prayerfully taking it seriously! See Hebrews 12
In Amos 4:1 "kine" is female and among their list of wrong doings The Lord includes bossing around their masters, or husbands. Verse 2 and 3 show us that God does not approve!
In Hosea, specifically chapter 2, we see the trouble and turmoil that an adulterous wife brings to her husband. I'm sure we can all agree on the severity of adultery; but here are a few verses... Mark 10:12, Romans 7:2-3, Hebrews 13:4, Exodus 20:14, and many more!
As these examples have proved..."It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman" - Proverbs 21:19
Besides pointing out the wicked women of the past, God gives us lots of instruction on how to do "good" for our husbands...
1 Cor 7:3, we are to render due benevolence (goodwill, kindness) unto our husbands
1 Cor 14:35, we are to go to our husbands first with any questions or concerns we may have, the importance of this is to respect our husbands. Before we go blabbing our opinions throughout the church, or anywhere else for that matter, we MUST first make sure we are on the same page as our husbands. Wether that be agreeing or agree to disagree! See Amos 3:3
Col 3:18, submit to our husbands, this includes obeying him (within the righteousness of The Lord,) & yielding to his advice! A Greek definition says: "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden" those, my sisters, are some pretty powerful responsibilities!
Ephesians 5:22-33 gives us a Godly description of how a marriage should work! I mention the whole passage because in addition to knowing our position in a marriage, we can also do things to make it easier for our husband to fulfill his responsibilities as head of the house, and prayerfully do our part to keep Christ at the head of our husband!
Titus 2 tells us we are to love (verse 4) and be obedient to our husbands.
There are obviously more examples, of good and bad, throughout the bible, but these will give you a place to start!
To wrap this up, I want to return to a point I made earlier, rather a point made by Jesus, "as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them!" Luke 6:31. Why would this verse not also apply to those so dear and close to us!? Of course we want "good and not evil" done to us, so naturally Jesus calls us to that attitude of service ourselves! Remember, it does NOT say, "as others DO to you," but rather how we "wish" for others to do!!! I can't help but be reminded of the movie "Fireproof!" When one spouse turns their life and actions over to God, He is able to move freely though out the entire marriage!
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of The Lord - Proverbs 18:22
The contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from The Lord. - Proverbs 19:13-14
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. - Proverbs 12:4
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